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Oh fuck, I'm hung over. I must have drank an entire case of
beer last night. I woke up at noon with my pants
around my ankles, and Asian
Asses #6 on repeat in my DVD player. I must have done some
serious binge wanking last night after not jerking
off for nearly a month. Why? Well... There's only one motherfucking
thing on my mind, and it's DOOM
3... and this,
whatever the hell it is. I just can't get it out of my mind.
It's
burned into my retinas.
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I've played this game for the last 34 hours straight. It's
so
bloody good that I can't tear myself away from my computer
for a second, and I've been reduced to pissing in a Gatorade
bottle by my chair. I
haven't even been watching porno lately. I wouldn't even
consider myself a gamer. The last computer game I played was
years ago... but this game is just so fucking tight, like
a man's anoose. It looks so realistic that it's like being
part of a movie. Not to mention the fact that it scares
the living shit out of me. This is the scariest thing
I've ever played. Sitting here in the dark with satanic creatures
jumping out at you... is so fucking cool. I've jumped out
of my seat so many times from being scared shitless and even
wet the seat from little spurts of urine. Seriously though,
I think I need a break. Maybe watching some
ripe teen titties getting banged is exactly what the doctor
ordered.
Technology has come so far since I was a kid, when video
games consisted of blinking red squares moving up and down
on the screen. This is hands down the best game that I have
ever seen or played. I'm fucking addicted, and am pretty surprised
that I was able to tear myself away from killing
Satan's hordes to do this awesome update...
I went to a mall a few days ago, and I found myself mentally
undressing
every single woman I saw. Any time I see a chick, old
or fat, young or hot, saggy
tits or anti-gravity
tits, my mind for some fucking reason decides to see what
she'd look like naked. I don't know if it's a healthy
thing to do, but I swear at this point in the game I have
fucking x-ray vision. I truly believe that more girls need
to shave
their bush. Also, I've come to the conclusion that 99%
of the people on planet earth are extremely
overweight and ugly.
I also went to see Alien VS Predator. What a fucking piece
of shit. If the director of that movie was here right now,
I'd push him down a flight of stairs and piss on his corpse.
I could have written a better story with my own diarrhea and
a paintbrush. This movie is an insult to the fans. I could
go on forever about it, but don't waste your fucking money.
Wonder where I get all those great
full length porn video clips I post? Now you can download
them all here on my video archive page!
My Aunt Freeda-Mae
is a completely fucking nuts. She thinks I run some faggot
ass chess page on the Internet, not that she even really knows
what the fuck the Internet is... For some reason people over
50 don't really seem to dig the whole porn thing. I
thought it'd be fucking hilarious to get her to write an article
for the site. Besides the fact she has the worst case
of attention deficit disorder I've ever seen, her hands shake
so bad that she can barely type. If I didn't hate myself and
my family so much I wouldn't have posted this, but it's worth
reading. She'll probably be dead soon, so she'll never find
out the truth.
Crazy Links:
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Anime - The
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Wars - Porn
MPGs
Click here for
this weeks reader mail. Some interesting shit from Iraq,
dogs eating vibrators, and other assorted freaky shit.
Download some of my free
teen cam vids from my personal
collection of girls I've gotten naked online!
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about $1000 bucks to let us fuck your girlfriend while
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