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People
all over the world are asking the same questions: "Who is Stile?"
and "What the hell is the Stile Project?" Well,
its about time you got some of those answers.
What
is the Stile Project Anyway?
The
Stile Project is a Multinational corporation owned by Rupert Merdock
and 20th Century Fox. The Project was created as an attempt
to desensitize primarily the United States and Canada in order
to ensure better quality programs on the Fox Network in the near
future. Fox defines "better quality" as "Full
Frontal Nudity and Public Executions."
What
is the web site about then?
The
Project's primary focus is Stileproject.com,
a web site containing thousands of the most horribly graphic movies,
pictures and stories. The web page, of course, is not the
projects only effort, but its most famous and was created for
public consumption. The other side arms of the Stile Project
include Nuclear Terrorism and Superbowl half-time planning. Details,
however, are classified. The page is completely automated
and generates the pictures and movies randomly from a directory
of over 800 Terabytes of porn. A monkey could run it, this monkey
goes by the name of Jay Stile.
Who
is Stile?
Jay
Stile was born Jonathan Hieronimus, the illegitimate love child
of Fox CEO Rupert Merdock and a German prostitute by the name
of Aidlehide. In hopes of keeping his bastard child out
of public attention, Murdock paid off Aidlehide and sold little
Jonathan to a Japanese game show. The show, loosely translated
into English, was "Baby Are In A Box, For Great Justice."
Jonathan was forced to live in a 4'x4'x'4 room monitored constantly
by a live television feed. The show was quite popular and
lasted most of Jonathan's life, however, at the age of 18 he was
let go and given a computer as his "prize." He
spent the next few years in seclusion in an island off the coast
of Japan searching for any sign of either of his parents using
the "Internet." He set up a web page dedicated
to finding his parents. With the fame of his web page, Merdock
feared that the world would find out about his son and sent for
Jonathan. Merdock had just started working on his
soon to be infamous Stile Project and knew his son would be perfect
for the job. He had Jonathan's name legally changed to Jonathan
Stile, but lovingly called his son J. Stile's job is simple,
all he has to do is write inane stories about living in solitude,
which he is well accustomed too, and discuss current events now
and then to keep the page up to date. The rest is done automatically.
Does
Stile Really Live In His Mother's Basement?
As,
far as Stile knows, yes he does. Stile lives in a top secret
military base in Calcutta. However, to keep him from revealing
the exact location, he was told that he lived in Canada, in his
mother's basement. Stile knows about the world only from
his web page and the few Japanese game show hosts he has met.
It is therefore quite easy to trick him. His "mother"
is played by a 300lb drag queen named Ronald who checks up on
Stile from time to time to make sure he doesn't starve to death
and to clean up the dried puddles of semen scattered about the
room.
I
Want To Fuck Stile, Is That Possible?
With
the piercing eyes of Steve Buscemi, the wild locks of Hunter S.
Thompson and the god like physique of Stephen Hawking, Stile gets
many requests like this. We are sorry the answer is no.
In the future we will provide Stile with a mate, but at this time
we are not accepting applications. If you can't be satisfied
with that there are a few things that can be done. 1) You
can have cyber sex with him. He is available on chat
nearly all day long. He sleeps only a few hours a night.
2) You can show him your breasts. Please write STILE
SUX on them and send them here.
3) You can apply
to become one of Stile's official cam
whores.
Will
You Link Me?
Yes,
Click
here to find out how.
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