I was looking in the local paper today and I came across a horrible thing. A man by the name of Tim Simmons died. At first I thought nothing of it, until I looked at the picture. It looked so familiar, but I couldn't place it. I read the article and found out something that is sure to rock the Internet community in the next few months. 

Tim, as he was known to friends, was in actuality our hero, the Goatse man. The man who had brought joy to millions of unsuspecting web surfers died on Aug. 30th at the age of 79. 

The Goatse homepage has remained stagnant for a while now and many had begun to worry about his health. The article has already started to cause controversy and there are talks of him faking his own death. He once joked to family members that he would fake his death as a final act in his twisted, obscene life.  He had plans to spend the rest of his life in Singapore drinking Mu-Shu juice and asking locals to stick small woodland creatures into his ass. 

Like Elvis and Tupac before him, we will undoubtedly have many reported sightings, but we may never know the truth. He often complained to anybody that would listen that no one ever looked him in the eye; they were always just trying to guess what he had hidden away in his gaping ass.

Most of the pictures on his site were taken when he was in his 30's in Singapore where he spent a good 3 years as a side show donkey boy.  This included fucking various animals, biting the heads of rats, and of course his favorite trick, getting anally fisted by anyone who would pay the 50 cent admission fee.  

He had spent the last few years of his life reliving his glory days on the Internet. 

For those who don't believe me, here is the actual article, scanned from today's newspaper.  We may never know the truth for sure, but trust me, this article is as real as Stile's sexual romp with Angelique.  

Goatse man, you will be missed.