When I was 16 nothing pissed me off more than listening to my friends bitch about girls. You see, until I was 17, I had never even kissed a girl and I didn't see how I ever would. As far as I knew, no girl had ever even thought I was cute. I figured that I was doomed to be alone forever. The something happened. If you had told me then, what I know now, I would never believe you. Now I sit around, bitching to my friends and telling you stories about my girl problems. Today I have to talk to you about threesomes.

It's most guys fantasy to have at least 1 threesome in their life. I know it was until I had my first. What could possibly be better than having two girls at once? However, after recently having my third threesome, I am beginning to see a pattern. Threesomes NEVER work out right. You'd think after the first two times, I would have realized this, but I can't stop. There's always this hope that everything will go right, but it never does.

It all started when my girl friend and I started noticing the same girls. We would both check out the same girls and noticed that we had similar tastes in women. We kinda joked around about threesomes, but I never really thought it would happen. Then one day I met this girl Mallory. She was this tall skinny half black piece of sexy. She was one of the hottest girls I had ever seen and she always hit on me. A few weeks later my girlfriend met her and immediately left the room because she "could not take Mallory's hotness."

I talked to them both independently about the idea of a threesome. They both seemed totally interested and we all decided to hang out one day. We hung out all day, but nothing had happened, so I decided to take some action. I bought them both 40oz and took them back to my place. I told my girlfriend to hit on Mallory and I left them alone for a while and went up to my room. They came in 20 minutes later and we all laid down on my bed and just started talking. After some prodding I got them to kiss each other. After that things went well. We all got naked and started making out with each other. I eventually ended up having sex with my girlfriend while she made out with Mallory. Then we all went to sleep.

The next morning we woke up and messed around again. I had sex with my girlfriend again and then we all took a shower together. It was nice and everyone seemed to have had a great time. I was psyched when Mallory left us alone. My girlfriend said it was a lot of fun and I thought everything was ok. However, I was horribly, horribly wrong. First thing that happened was Mallory stopped hanging out with me. She always was weird around me and we didn't talk much after that. I was upset about it, but I barely knew her and couldn't really complain. My girlfriend was another story.

For the next year of our relationship she brought up the threesome over and over again. Every chance she had she would some how use it against me. She hated me for "forcing her into it." She claimed that she did it just for me and she despised me for doing things with another girl. I can't say our relationship was perfect, but this made it a lot worse. Even now she cites it as one of the reasons she cheated on me with my ex-girlfriend. I should have learned my lesson after that…

"What could the harm be in having a threesome with two girls you weren't dating?" I thought to myself as my second threesome began. "These girls are about it, they won't be mad at me, and everything will be perfect!" I couldn't have been more wrong. So here's what happened.

I was flirting constantly with this girl Marie for most of the summer. We had made out a few times, but she always hated it because she had a boyfriend. So she came up with a plan. She decided she would try to hook me up with one of her friends. One night we had a big hotel party and Marie invited her friend Liz. I instantly loved Liz. She was hot as hell and we found out that we had so much in common. I kissed her a few times that night and we made plans to hang out later.

A few days after that, I had a party at my house. Around 3 o'clock most of my friends had gone home and there were only 4 of us left. One of my friends was puking in the bathroom, and Marie was making sure he didn't die. Liz and I decided to go up to my room and make out. 15 minutes later, my friend had passed out and Marie came up stairs to see what we were doing. She caught Liz and me naked in my bed. Fortunately Marie had broken up with her boyfriend that day, and was pretty drunk. Liz and I convinced her to join us and she started making out with both of us.

I some how convinced them to go down on me at the same time. It was about the best thing I have ever experienced. Then it took a turn for the worse. We all decided to have sex. I would take turns fucking each one of them and then switching. The sex was awkward and weird. The third person just sat there and watched. I got tired quickly and Marie got on top of me. She just kept going harder and faster than anyone had ever fucked me. It got to be painful. In the middle of it she just started crying. She freaked out about her ex-boyfriend and ran into the next room. Liz ran after her. They just left me lying naked, with a condom on feeling shitty. They came back in my room to put their clothes on. I mentioned to Marie that I felt like a piece of meat. She responded meanly with "Good, I treated you like one!" I was more than put off by this. Both the girls left and I just sat there, naked on my bed feeling like shit. I would never do that again.

Then last week happened. A week ago I hooked up with this girl Carol who I hadn't talked to in years. I had a huge crush on her before, but both of us were in relationships. I hung out with her constantly over the next few days. I met her friend Josie the second time we hung out and I immediately was taken by her. Suddenly I wasn't into Carol anymore. I was totally pressed for Josie. Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, but she seemed like she could break up with him any day, so I decided to pursue her anyway.
5:30 AM. My phone rings. It's Josie and she's with Carol. They want me to hang out. I just wanted to see Josie again, so I got out of bed and drove out to meet them. We just stood around outside trying to think of something to do. I suggested, half kidding, that we go to my house and roll around naked. I thought they ignored the suggestion and didn't think anything of it until they asked me when we were going to my house.

We went downstairs and watched TV until Carol told me the TV was too bright. We sat around in the dark and she just casually mentioned that she had taken off her clothing and she suggested we did the same. In complete darkness we all took off our clothes and huddled together under a blanket. We just laid there naked, together, bodies touching wondering what would happen next. Eventually I kissed Josie and then Carol.

Everything went well at first. I knew I wasn't going to fuck them because of what happened in my last threesome, I figured everything would be okay. They were all over me and just ignoring each other. So I decided I wanted them to kiss. This was a huge mistake. All of a sudden the focus shifted away from me. Now Josie was in the middle and Carol completely stopped kissing or touching me. The girls spent the next hour just ignoring me. Once again I sat there naked and feeling terrible. I guess that's what happens when you try to get with strippers…

Even after all these experiences I can tell you this much: I'd do it again tonight. You have to always hope that one day you will get head from two girls at once and they will drink an equal amount of your love seed and everyone will go home happy. It probably will never happen, but I'll keep trying. Next time I am going to find two straight girls, who don't want to fuck me, and won't go insane the next morning. Yeah right, like that could happen, but you never know… just 5 years ago I wouldn't believe any of this could happen.