*~~'SUP GURLIEZZ! ~~*

i'm kellyie! im 15 and my bro stile runs this bangin' website! hes on a heroine binge right now so he asked me to wright an artical. at first i was all ewww wiritng. it's like, dont i do that enuff in school LOL

but then he said he would take me out shopping for thongs (mom wont take me) and buy my friends beer so i was like cool. yanno when he's not jerking off in my closet during my sleepovers he can really rock. anyways he told me to write what i know so im guna tell u gurls hot tipz on how to be ultra popular at school. which i am even thou im a jew (we kicked jesuses a$$ LOL)

WARNING: okay ppl, i did this page all by myself so dont f**king steal my layout or picks!!!!

so neways ok here goes.....

*REAL* TIPZ ON HOW 2 B POPULAR! by: me! (lmao)

Hawtie Bawdie!
nobody likes a fatty so take precautions. there's this great stuff called cristal meth u can take and u stay up all nite! your teeth r guna hurt at first but its worth it when there so worn down u dont need braces. (and u wont bite during oral! ;P ) big jaw muscles will keep ur skin nice and firm on ur face! and u will look like a linebacker so ppl will think u have school spirit!!

Let him do the thinking 4u!
never argue with ur boi! u dont want him to think ur a bitch leave that shit for those hairy armpit feminists -- and i never see them with boyfriends! Just pratce these lines:

• u can post those pix on the internet... i mean, what are the chances my dad will see them? LOL!
• it's ok, prolly deserved that. ill just tell them i fell down the stairs.
• ur rite, sucking off ur dog was a great idea! butchie is such a cutie dog!
• sure i will. i heart dry anal!!
• if you think it will help the team reach the finals... okay, ill kill that hobo for you *kissies*

Mary-Kate and Ashley r all about the chocolate. There such an inspiration!

ur FREEK on!!!
Close minded ppl really suck, so show ppl ur down by having sex with a nigga, y0! you know, like nelly is pretty cute for black guy.. he almost looks like a regular person HOLLA! LOL there's always plenty of them at the bus station, just pick one, its totally easy! they even like fatties! Just dont bring them home 2 visit the folx. most good 'rents hate coloreds. um, did i say coloreds? i meant niggers. OMG no I did not just say that! Yes I did! LOL!

Join THE CLUB!
hooking up with jiggs isn't your thing? Get involved and join a club! the neo-nazis are always looking 4 new members (except me cuz im a heebe). they *always* get tons of attention at school and u get 2 learn all sorts of kewl stuff. like how my people control the media and use the black for muscle.. i SO did not know that! u never have to worry about what to wear either cuz they only seem to have one outfit. go totally retro in a brown button down shirt! according to teen COSMO, brown is the new black.. and according to Aryan Watchtower Weekly, so are arabs!

be totally positive!
frowning is bad for ur skin for one. nobody likes to be around someone who is bummed out or pissed off about stuff. otherwise goths would be r00l the skool LOL. just take all that anger and sadness and push it deep deep down inside of you and ignore it. u might end up flipping out and shooting up the school but wait until after spring break so u have a hawt tan 4 ur mugshot!

This is BFF Sandyie's butterfly charm... so CUTE!

Ditch the Bellie Ring
Even fat ugley ppl have them now! if ur real cool, get a female cirumcision! chopmeat looken coochi lips tell boys you're not afraid to have a little fun. u dont even need 2 get ur mom's permission becuz u can do it urself with a piece of glass or a tin can lid! top it off with a cute fairee or butterfly charm! sex might hurt after ur done but its all about the boys pleasure newayz.... u dont want to look like a ho! a-duh!

USA n' U BFF!
Patriotism is so bomb! being patriotic means u dont have to really know about currint events, so thats less reading u have 2 do! anywayz, i dont see why ppl hate it here cuz it seems cool 2 me. no need to hate on prez bush, either. um, hello? if he suckz so bad then why did evryone vote for him??!?!? people are just jealous becuz he's popular.

get what U want!
flirting is *so* last April. junior varsety boyz are 2 mature to fall for that nEmore. break out ur volley ball knee guards and start sucken those dicks, y0! the blowjob is the new bargining chip in school and it works on everyone! u can even do it in the middle of class (in the back of the room, duh!) i even rim teh lunch ladie so my bf can get extra tator totts! =)

I couldn't wait til Prom and dropped mine at a house party. i forgot 2 flush and my boyfriend's dad found it! if i wasn't fucking him too, id be soooo embarrassed!

Make a baby!
knocked up gurlies get so much attention its amazing! ppl will get u things and do stuff for you and it will still be hawt becuz it will prove yer not a virgin anymore! dont worry thou. u can still smoke.. ur just going to drown the baby in the toilet at the prom anyway. be careful not to get potty water on ur dress when they try to swim out.. it f*cken sux! ROFL :o)

Kill URSELF!
If ur 2 much of a looser 2 get this stuf to work 4u, just end it all cuz ur doing every1 a favor that way. make it special thou. put ur favorite bath salts in the tub, burn sum nice candles and play some music like that evancescensese song where the girl is jumping off the building. use Venus brand razors so ur wrists get a nice smooth cut. afterwards be sure 2 moisturize! nobody likes a corpse with razor bumps... ewwww!!!!

BACK TO MY BRO'S SITE!!!!!