We have all seen the rabid preacher on the street corner, foaming his delusional rantings about fire and brimstone at the end of days. If you go through history, you will find that there has been no shortage of these people. It seems that with man, comes his paranoid fear of losing all and sundry. Its one of the niggling by products of being a conscious life form.

While snickering will obviously ensue when seeing an off the planet nut job offering a tumult of end times bile, there will most definitely be a day where he will have the last laugh.

Now, it's useless to ponder when and who and how and why. Something has got to give, and it will give. No-one knows when, no-one knows who, no-one knows how and no-one will know why.

But the simple fact is, shit is getting out of hand.

Its only been 60 odd years since we harnessed the power of the A-bomb. Its a pimple on a dimple on the ass crack of a fly in terms of human history. Yet we sit upon a resource of nuclear material that could destroy this planet 100 times over if properly unleashed. Humans just cant get enough, it seems.

Again, its useless to split up into camps and do the normal human thing of arguing about where the best place is to sit in a car that is speeding towards a brick wall. You can be pro-nuclear, pro-warfare, anti-warfare, pro-peace, or pro-sitting on your ass and not giving a fuck. It doesn't matter.

The fact is, you cannot stop progress. You cannot stop the economy, and you cannot stop large scale political warfare. Pandora's box has been opened, we have harnessed energy, we have harnessed nuclear power and we have harnessed the capacity for wide scale destruction.

However satisfying it is to be passionate about your point of view, the simple fact is that your point of view doesn't matter. When you are talking about things on a meta scale, democracy means shit. The only way it can really have any effect if is there is a revolution on such a large scale that everything gets reset.

But taking a realistic look at how we are as a global society, too many people are in a stupor, and not enough people give a fuck to change anything.

Which brings us to the next point. The reset button.

Again, hows whys wheres and whens don't matter. Its going to happen, sooner or later.

But lets say, hypothetically, it happens tomorrow. DEF CON-1. The big shiny red button gets a nice dusting off, and some twiddly nerd gets ready for the president to give the world a good nuclear hammering. America, China, North Korea, India, Israel, Pakistan - whoever. Its all the same shit.

Then, the standard issue stories. Nuclear winter, radiation zones, fallout and associated nastiness.

Now, imagine the rich diversity of people in our world, today, in this post-apocalyptic zone.

Middle class, boring, balding, wage slaves who have spent the past 20 years sitting at a computer terminal wasting their lives away.

Ignorant, spoilt suburban princesses who sit in front of web cams and post on myspace telling the world how shit their life is, or how cool they are.

Religious freaks in glorious rapture about the second coming of who-ever their chosen deity may be, but who have well stocked bomb shelters.

Giant fat asses who cant go through a day without shovelling half a tonne of sugar, salt, grease and fat into their mouths, and play World Of Warcraft for hours on end each day.

Preppy, botoxed, leathery skinned mothers who sit high in their suburban tankers, and get all their life information from reality television and Oprah.

Obnoxious, wanna be success stories who participate in Amway and believe in manifesting your visions of being opulently and disgustingly rich.

Scenesters and socialites who meticulously perfect their image for hours before they even begin to think about leaving the house.

And finally, lets not forget the drug addicted crackhead human scum, crazy redneck hicks, and inbred ignorant retards.

Imagine this lovely mixed pot of human waste, stewing together in the cauldron of a society in ruins. If it wasn't so hilarious, it would be tragic.

The wage slave? He would be exhausted trying to fight for a mouldy bread roll. He has probably gotten so fat that his spirit is crushed, and he would probably give up the ghost the earliest.

The suburban princess? She would say "Oh my god" in excess of 40,000 times an hour. She would probably be kidnapped.

The religious freaks? They would just stay locked up in their house until the supplies were gone. Then they would probably go batshit insane and kill everyone they see.

The giant fat asses? Well. Without the comfort of a level 60 dwarf to hide behind, they are just shotgun fodder.

The botox queen? Her leathery skin would probably provide good protection from the nuclear fallout, but her bitching and whining would probably have a gun in her mouth as opposed to a kidnapping. If only Oprah had a special on this, she would know what to do.

The Amway fuck? He will need to work out a way to manifest his vision for some water now. But at least he is free from the tyranny of the pyramid.

The image whores? If half your face is on fire, you cant really do much with it. They would give up the ghost just as easily as the wage slave.

Its scary to think who would actually last the longest, but if you wanted to be frighteningly realistic, its probably the people who we are most afraid of as a society that will dominate the landscape in a post-apocalyptic scenario. The homeless, the criminals, the ruthless and shrewd. The puffy fat asses and the suburban white collar drones will be taken down like a sack of shit, stripped of all resource, and left to die.

Everything is fair game. You don't own anything unless you can actually fend for yourself, are well armed or well trained, are smart and have insight into the nature of desperation. There is little to no law and order, so the bandits will rule the streets and the cities. Only the most cunning will survive. We go back to primal human nature. The reset button.

Currently, the majority of the western world lives in an ivory tower. We have comfortable, warm beds, and enough food on the table to keep us satisfied. In fact, we are so comfortable now that we have to excite ourselves with the distraction of celebrities and bullshit trivialities. We see poverty, and are aware of its existence, but it does not reflect our existence or the existence we aspire to, so we ignore it. Or, at best throw some crumbs at it to make ourselves feel better. This existence has made us soft, and this is why, in a situation like a complete breakdown of society, there would be complete meltdown for those who are comfortable and placated, and the flotsam that walk the streets today would be our kings. Simply, because they know no other existence than that of desperation.

So that brings us to the last point. Are you prepared?

If it were to happen tomorrow, would you perish? Would you fight, or would you led like a lamb to the slaughter?

It's not the nicest thing to think of. But keep it in mind next time you're doing some push ups.

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