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Wednesday, October 17th / 2001
 
Various Crap (8:59PM EST) by: Stile
 

YUM! GORDY'S TOP TEN PICKS OF GEEKTASTIC CHICKS!

Even us geeks and nerds can be picky. Look at me for example: only the finest educated and sexy broads will do!

Since Stiles considers me the geekiest friend he knows, he's asked me to compile my top ten list of spankable broads for the Geekly Kind.

Start the drumroll... LOLLOLOL!

#10: Six of One - Tripping the Rift

If you asked people to name a hawt CGI girly they'd probably say Aki from that Final Fantasy movie. He-e-e-ll-ooooo? Are you people THE GAY? Not only is this chick an officer on a space ship, but her flesh maps are based on pictures of Playboy chixxx! Her polygonal funbags jiggle and sway just like a real chick's do (so I've heard)! TERRY FARRELL DOES HER VOICE!!! CAN IT GET ANY BETTER? Wait, there's nine more.. I guess it can LOLZ. :o)

Click here for a pic of Six Of One's huge huge boobers!

#9: Asako Kishi - Food Critic, Iron Chef

Ahhh a saucy dish from the land of the rising sun! This fiery little minx is known for her scathing assessment of Iron Chef competitors. My toes curl whenever her snippy old crone dubbed voice calls forth with a "this is awful.. not one of your best efforts".

Rrrrrrggggggleee... now that's a kitten with a whip! Sometimes I heat up some microwave eggrolls til their a little above room temperature and rip off the top them, crank up the Chef, close my eyes and I tear that ass up! Man, I love older women.

#8. Chun-Li - Street Fighter

Yes, yet another sweet thing from the far east... I grew up on Street Fighter and well, I've been in lust with that chinkpixeltabulous fighter ever since. What red blooded male can resist a nubile dragonlady with KFC biscuits on her head? Many is the night I lay in bed dreaming of that martial arts goddess executing her famous SPINNING BIRD KEEEEK while impaled on my penIX. ROFL. My dream almost came true when I cornered a hot cosplayer in the toilet at Otakon and told her about it, but then the security guys grabbed me. Oh well.

Click here for a pic of Chun Li looking mighty seksayz!

#7. Asia Carerra - Porn Star

Wow! Nice Asian boobers, does porn films and is a bona fide member of MENSA. She's a GENIUS!! She works on her own website! SHE THROWS LAN PARTIES!!!!!! OOOH I'M SPURTIN' HERE.

Asia was created in a lab in Germany in order to enslave the IT masses. Please don't look at her directly in the breasts, you'll be paralized and then the terrorists have won. Thank you.

Oh yeah, click here for a pic of her getting NASTY! U go girly!!! haha luv u long time.

#6. Judy - Revenge of the Nerds

You know, sometimes sticking to your own kind is a good thing. Meeeow...hell, I'll take all the Omega Mu girls!!! She reminds me of this fat girl I knew in Junior High. She was sweaty and loved to ride horses. Like Judy, she wasnt easy on the eyes, but she had a heart of gold, smart and desperately needed the beefins. She said she let me rub her cooter under the bleachers after school.... It was when I got elbow deep into her moist fold did I realize I took a wrong turn and was fisting her belly creases. I smelled like sweat and horse for a week.

Click here for a big sized pic of this super hunny!

#5. Mom

A boy's first love is always his mom. Mine was also my prom date. Sometimes she gives me special mommy massages.

They make me all squishy.

So do the enemas.

My mother. Isn't she perfect?

#4. Alyson Hannigan - Willow, Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Alyson Hannigan plays a young woman on Buffy who not only is into Computer Science, but is a lesbian to boot! We both sift through lines of code will thinking about girls munching each other's muffs! This is truly a match made in heaven. Mmmmm... firecrotch.... I wonder if girls that have red poontangs taste different? I mean.. WEll, yeah, yo9u know what i mean.

For masturbatory purposes, here is a big picture of this super hotty!!1!

#3. Jeri Ryan - Seven of Nine, Star Trek: Voyager

Yes, what list would be complete without this comely defector of the Borg?

If only I had a machine with dual breast peripherals like that! The guys in my Voyager chat were fond of saying there was a star in the sky for ever time a boy shot his load to Ms. Of Nine. LMAO.

I'd be happy to give you a "bio implant" any time. ROFLLLLLL!!!!!!

I even found a NUDIE PIC of this hottiy!! GO ME!!!!!1

#2. Jolene Blaylock - T'Pol, Star Trek: Enterprise

OMFG! Looks like T'Pau from the original 'Trek has lost her seat as top VILF: Vulcan I'd Love to Fuck LOL.

Decontamination. gel.

That's all I gotta say.

Click here for a super hotty pixxxx!

#1. The Verbal LCARS Interface on the USS Enterprise

Besides LCARS being the sweetest looking OS EVER (EVER!), the PERFECT WOMAN. She doesn't talk back, obedient, totally intelligent and has the voice of an angel, AKA Majel Barrett. uNF. Whether its making your favorite meal exactly how you want it, or creating your ultimate fantasy on a holodeck, she is the ultimate! If I were on the Enterprise, I'd ask her to replicate me a a warm watermelon filled with lube and a dick shaped hole tunneled into it.. My prime directive would be to ride that filly into the next star system.... w00t!

click here for a big sized pic!!!


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