Damn! And you thought you were ugly! Look at the guy to your left, a real life conehead! Unbelievable.

I absolutely LOVE side show freaks. The kind with mutated genetics that makes them look like they were run over by a fleet of Cadillacs.

I remember going to the county fair as a kid and paying a quarter to see the fat lady, the really fat lady, and the unbelievably really fat lady. Not to mention wolf-man boy, blubber-man, the bearded lady and the bearded ladies bearded clam!

It's so fascinating knowing that these mutants exist only to serve us for entertainment purposes, and will dance around and make idiots of themselves for less than the cost of a cup of coffee.

Sadly, the side show freak business isn't what it once was and these traveling bands of misfits are becoming extinct like the circus itself.

Today I would like to share with you some of the most amazing of all these freaks, and pay homage to their selfless acts of entertaining the world since the early 19th century to the mid 1940s, when sadly the tradition of the freakshow started to die off.

I have done my best to digitally touch up these photographs as some are over a hundred years old, and all are in black and white.

Click the thumbnails for the full sized image!

Meet Margarete Clark, who was part of the James Strates Shows in 1949. She has a Siamese twin appendage growing out of her belly. You can even see her nipples in the photograph. Anyone have a parasitic twin fetish?

One of the most popular freaks of all time is Lobster Boy, real name Grady Stiles. No, I didn't make that up! Take a look at his picture here. Interestingly enough his family has passed on the "lobster hand" trait for five generations. What kind of woman would want their kid to have lobster hands? Weird.

Introduce yourself to the amazing Johnny Eck. Johnny was born without a body below the waist yet he had a totally normal twin brother. Being without legs, he was forced to walk on his hands. Johnny Eck was an excellent pianist and when not on tour with the circus, he had his own orchestra in his home town of Baltimore, where he was famous. Johnny was also an accomplished painter.

Let's not forget about John H. Williams the alligator-skinned man, who was born in Elwood, Indiana. He was married to a bearded lady. I wonder if his penis was alligator skinned as well? Hey, the public wants to know these things!

Wow -- talk about your real life version of the movie MASK. William Durks had two noses and two eyes (the center eye is painted on). He was married to Mildred, an alligator-skinned woman. I wonder if Michael Jackson bought his bones as well?

Probably my favorite freak is Prince Randian, the human torso, who was born without arms and legs. He did everything with his mouth and could even roll a homemade cigarette with his sensitive lips. He was happily married and his wife was extremely devoted to him. He also made an excellent football.

Here's another parasitic twin, or conjoined twin myopia for you ejumacated types out there. Betty Lou Williams was born in 1932 in Albany, Georgia. This photo was taken at the Chicago Word's Fair, "Believe It Or Not Show" in 1934. She has a parasitic appendage growing out of her side. X-rays show the head of another child embedded inside Betty's body. Freaky.

Last but not least, Myrtle Corbin, the four-legged woman from Clebourne, Texas. She was double-bodied from the waist down and had twenty toes and four legs. She had four girls and a boy. According to her promoter three were born from one body and two from the other. The photo was taken in 1907.

Of course there are many, many more freaks out there. Sword swallowers, human blockheads, fish-men, etc. We as a society are mystified by the strange, and our curiosity always gets the better of us. Once again, here's to the freaks!