From: Retro80 [retro80@mac.com]

So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix. fucked up huh? I want to die.

From: DeathMetal777@aol.com

Last year I had a girlfriend named Kristen. She was HOT as fuck and she lived with her mother. Her Mom and dad divorced 3 months before I started seeing her. It was our 6 month anniversary (WOOPIDYFUCKINDOO) and i had decided to go to her house 2 hours before she got home from work to put flowers all over her bed. Her mother let me in and i had placed the 6 roses in an orderly fashion on her pillows and bed. Her mother and i had started conversing for about 5 minutes about her ex-husband. Then she had made a comment about, "How hard it is not to have a man around the house." After saying those words, she grabs my cock. Im a man with sensitivity, so it just got hard in two seconds. She unzipped my pants and got on her knees. She was talking about how I was "FRESH MEAT" and "SUCH A GOOD YOUNG MAN" She took off her pants and panties and I just started wailing on her. After 5 minutes of that, she pulled my dick out...and directed it to her fucking asshole. I had never ass fucked a girl before, but hey...what the fuck..right? So there i am, ass naked, fucking my girlfriends mother on the living room couch with my ass in the direction of the door. The fucking door swings open, my girlfriend got off work an hour and a half early for our big ANNIVERSARY whatever. Her jaw drops, im still, cant move, with my cock still in her mothers ass. She runs up, pulls me off her momma, and kicks me right in the FUCKIN JUNK!!! I still haven't felt the same!

FUCKED UP SHIT!
Have a great day,
Josh S. C.

From: Paul [pdaubman@hvc.rr.com]

Well this one time I was at the local swimming hole. My and my bunds were doing crazy stunts off of the diving board. I tried to do a reverse dive and landed flat on my nads. When I got outta the water I could barely breath. It wasn't until I got home to take a shower when I noticed my balls had swelled to the size of cantalopes. I was really scary. I never told anyone that before. Feel blessed.

From: OMJ1691@aol.com

Dear Stile, the worst thing to ever happen to me was to marry a dishonest, selfish, insincere, immature, dick hungry, man-magnet SLUT and to stay in it for 10 years hoping she would change for the better. I met her at work. She looked like an easy lay, and she was. To me and just about anyone else who paid her any attention. Anyway she got pregnant. Me, trying to be honorable married her (not even knowing if I was the father). She had a miscarraige 6 days after the wedding. I thought I was in love with her so I hung in there trying to make it work.I lost my job making $21 an hour and went back to school to learn a new trade. I got a new job making $12 an hour because I was starting in a new trade. She never even looked for a job during this whole time. I would let her "use the car" while I was at work, earning a living to support her stank ho' ass. She would take the car to go use it to go and cheat on me with any and everybody. Then she would have nerve enough to be late picking me up from work. I bought her a car of her own. A used piece of shit car. She never checked the oil or anything. She just put gas in it and drove. She ended up buring out the engine in front of one of the guys house and just abandonded it there. There are many more examples of how low down she was. Thank God I finally gave up on her and got a divorce. Better off alone!

From: dismal@baneofexistence.com

i was born

From: Jason [lilpur69@hotmail.com]

To whom who gives a shit: The worst thing that i can recall happening to me was getting pulled over on the 23rd of December 2000. Here's the story: Just got off of work at 5 P.M. and had been working at 6 A.M. In a rush to buy last minute gifts for my loved-ones, I hopped in my 1980 Buick Regal and headed to the over crowded mall. Figuring that it would be absolute hell, I reach into the back seat and grab my bong and a nice bud out of my back pack. Once freshly stoned, I was nice and calm. Here I am driving through all these nice little towns in East Bumble-Fuck N.J. in my busted ass car when who do I pass? An officer. My favorite.

Well needless to say, I was followed and pulled over. That was kinda predictable I guess or I wouldn't be writing a worst moment story. Anywho, Mr. Officer comes up to the car all tough and tells me he pulled me over for my license plate light being out. I say, "Oh I didn't even know I had one cuz' it was never on." With a blank look, the officer peaks his head in the car and looks directly below the door and says," This looks like marijuana resin!" God only knows how he spotted it in a dark car but he picks up an old piece of bud and says," Can you step out of the car?" Now the shit hits the fan. I get out. They ask me if there's any pot in the car and I of course lie. Another officer comes and now I become a little worried. The officer asks me again if there's pot in car. I, once again, lie. The two officers proceed to begin searching my car when a state trooper pulls up. Now I'm bugging out. Luckily, the two cops say that they're fine and he pulls away. Whew. The cops had been going through my car for like ten minutes when I see one of them finally pick up my bag and look inside. Shit. They bring my bag and throw the ounce on the back of the patrol car. They ask if there's anything else. For the third time, I lie. They go back and find my bong under my drivers seat. Yet again they ask and for the fourth time, I lie. They go back and don't find my other bright green pipe in my other bag. That was a shocker.

Now this brings us to me being handcuffed in a patrol car on the way to the station. I staring at the back of the cops head wishing the most horrible acts possible on him, WASTED. I get to the station all chink-eyed, and they do all the bull shit paper work and I call my friend to come and get me. Ironicly they were on the way to the mall smoking pot.

This brings us to present day and I still, unfortunitly, owe the court 525 and possibly way more. When I go back to court I will faint if my fines aren't around 1000 or a little bit of time in county. Shitty right? My license was also yanked. Still is. Really shitty.

Best part is that the cops missed a pretty noticeable green pipe. To top that, they told me the pot I had was "really nice looking" becuase they don't see much good shit in that area. The best is getting complimented by cops on your weed when you're high in the police station. Lastly, the absolute best is that after I had lied to them FOUR times, the cops thanked me for being so honest. Fucking jackasses.
Hope ya liked it, Jay

From: PLevine641@aol.com

The Worst Thing that ever happened to me was watching my mother waste away from Brain Cancer over 9 months. The first doctor said she would die in three months. My dad quickly called her a dumb bitch, and fired her. My mom fought hard - she was a very strong lady with a passion for life. She lasted 9 months, which shocked everyone, especially her oncologist. However, after about 2 months she had trouble walking. After 4 months her right side became paralyzed, and then she lost the sight in her right eye. She became debilitated and was only able to get around in a wheelchair, and was unable to feed herself. On the 6th month she began to have various organ failures and her liver began to give out. By that point she had lost all vision, and was beginning to look slightly yellow from the liver failure. From the 6th through the 9th month she was completely bed ridden and started to deteriorate quickly. She lost 40 lbs, and began to look like a concentration camp victim. It was a relief when she died because her suffering ended.

From: Michael B.

Stile, I have been coming to your site for about a year now and have come to a solid conclusion- you suck. I will however, tell my worst ever story. It was probably the most embarrassing yet hilarious moment of my pathetic life.

I live in the eternal wasteland described as Wild and Wonderful West Virginia. I went to college in Georgia and still have good friends there. Last year I went to visit with my friends when "the incident" happened. My wife and I went over to my old bosses house in a rather affluent neighborhood in Atlanta. The dinner party was for about 12 people, all refined people with good jobs, that is except for me. 6 years of college has qualified me to drive a truck over the road. Its not a bad life but rough on the body. This becomes relevant to my story in that if you ask any trucker what the roughest part of the job is, he'll tell you its keeping on a regular shit schedule. Out on the road you are either constipated or you got shit practically running down your leg. During my vacation south, I was so fucking constipated I thought I was going to die.

My wife and I got to the party and I knew right away I was in trouble. I hadn't shit for about 3 days yet I was farting badly. I knew I was a bomb waiting to go off. Shortly after we arrived, the host lit the fuse. She served these fucking hors d'ouvres that were full of some kind of fish and garlic shit. One bite was all it took to break my long suffering bowels loose. As delicately as I could, I grabbed the ass of my pants and went in search of a shitter. The one in the hall was occupied so I figured there had to be one off a bedroom, so I made my way to the master bedroom and found one.

As soon as my ass hit that seat all hell broke loose. I swear I thought the first huge gaseous explosion scorched the porcelain. I sat there dumping out what can best be described as the motherlode of all shits. This son of a bitch was as big around as a beer can and as long as a goddamn loaf of bread. The hardest part was the first 6 inches. Any trucker will tell you that bouncing around on the air seat all day has a rather interesting effect on your shits. To see this, take some Play-Doh and roll it into a shit sized log, then bang the end on a table. Trust me, trying to pinch that blunted end out of your ass is no picnic.

Anyway, after all the crap was gone, I was very weak and needed to rest, so I just sat there on the shitter. As I was sitting, I ripped off about 6 or 8 loud, wet farts. They were brutal in both sound, smell, and texture. Soon, I figured I had been away from the party long enough, so with one last thunderous fart I got up. As soon as I looked in the toilet I knew I was in for trouble. Even this high priced, super powered toilet had no chance of choking down that wad. I flushed that sucker and nothing happened. Not one peice of shit went down the pipe. I looked all over for a plunger to no avail. I did see a toothbrush on the counter and figured no one would ever know, so I used the handle to bust up the shit logs. Man, I stuffed that bastard all the way as far as I could down the trap of the toilet, breaking up crap as I went. Finally, I gave the toilet one more flush, and with a mighty gulp, the shit of a lifetime went away. I rinsed off the toothbrush and went back to the party.

It was strange, as I went into the dining room everyone looked rather pale, and I noticed a somewhat noxious stench in the room. Thinking that someone must have farted, I went about my business of eating dinner. Conversation was non existant and no one would look me in the eye. Shortly, the host left the table to use the bathroom. It was then I realized what was going on. As she entered the same bathroom I had used, you could hear everything she did. It turns out that the contractor that built the house was a real dumbshit. To save time and money he linked some of the ductwork together. The shitter I used and the kitchen shared a common wall, so this asshole tied the bathroom fan duct and the range hood duct together. As well as amplifying any noise in the bathroom, if the bathroom fan was running and the kitchen's was not, the exhaust from the bathroom emptied into the kitchen. So, those poor people not only heard me crapping my brains out, the smell was dumped directly into the eating area.

My wife and I left soon thereafter and on the way to the hotel she told me all about what happened. She said the hostess almost passed out when I let the first blast go, and everytime I farted, the other guests practically jumped out of their seats. I guess the metal ductwork was like a megaphone so it sounded like I was taking a shit inside a metal trashcan.

Even though I did have a good laugh, I feel bad since I have never been invited to their house again. That's okay since I can't look her in the face without remembering that the toothbrush she uses on her pearly white's was the same one I used to bust up my shit.

I would appreciate your not using my name or e-mail in this. If my other friends read this, I would never get another dinner invite again.

From: Cell938

I was driving in my truck in mid august, I was on summer vacation. The window was down because my truck doesn't have air conditioning, so being 18 years old and trying to look cool, with my arm hanging out the window pointing down towards the ground. I was on my way back home from buying books for college (my classes started at the end of august which is bad enough) when about half way back from the book store to my house, there is a blind curve, and I was on the outside of the turn. As I was taking the turn, a mini-van being driven by a soccer mom rushing to pick up her child(ren) takes the turn too
wide and sideswipes my truck which is nearly 30 years old at the time and is an unforgiving motherfucker of a truck. My arm is pinned between the two cars.

I think the best way to describe it is that it was twisted off really, just below the elbow but it was severed none the less. So now I am driving, missing my left arm, and going into shock. The soccer mom and I stop at the same time and my arm is (literally) lying in the middle of the street. I get out, walk over to my arm, or what's left of it really, and start screaming to go to a hospital along with liberal usage of the words fucking shit. So the lady who hits me, holding back vomiting, drives me to the hospital nearest to where we are. And a little background, I live in a very small suburb where nothing exciting happens so we are never ready if something like this happens. We get to the hospital and all the nurses are thrown for a loop because none of them have seen anything like this in real life. Because of this, it takes like 5 minutes of me loosing a lot of blood before I get sterile stuff to stop the bleeding (the doctor told me I lost about 2 pints of blood total). What really sucks though is that the doctors where able to reattach the arm, but after 2 days in ICU my body rejected my arm so basically, to put it as non-scientifically as possible, it died because it couldn't get any circulation of blood to it. So now it is 3 years later I am healed but missing an arm.

Life Sucks,
Marcus

PS, The only good thing about loosing an arm, I got a mercy fuck from a girl who wouldn't so much as talk to me before. By the way, if you do post this story, I would really prefer that you didn't post my email or my name and stuff like that because no offense but even though my story probably blows my cover I would prefer if people didn't know I was coming to this site despite how kickass it is.

Life Sucks,
Marcus

From: DarkSalnt@aol.com

The worst thing that ever happened to me was definatly during this past holiday. I went over to my brother's house for Christmas where his wife's family, and all their screaming rugrats were running around. Three of the kids had a stomach virus, and I came down with it a few days later. After a few hours of pissing out of my ass I started to vomit violently. Eventually I got to bed, and later woke up and knew that I had to shit my brains out. After dumping half my body weight into the bowl, I threw up in it before I could flush. All the viral, infected shit-water splashed back up in my face and got all over me. I sat there, crying, and fell asleep, literally covered in my own vomit and shit.

From: BUmkILLEr137@cs.com

OK, one time I was living in some town houses in some shitty neighborhood in California. When i was 10 i played outside a lot and over this wall close to my town house there was a field, and i noticed a couple of bums living in it ... so me and my friends use to fuck with them by messing up there boxes and looking threw their shopping carts and stealing their porn...so one day me and my friends were playing hide-and-go-seek at night, and i decided to go hide in the field. Just when i was about to get over the wall my friend saw me and he started to chase me so jumped into the field and i began to run top speed then suddenly i trip over something and i fall face first into what seemed like mud so i run into a place where there's light and i wipe my face and smell my hand i noticed that it was shit so i throw up and all my friends are laughing and cars stop and come laugh at me......so i run home and burn my skin with hot water and scrub myself with a rock.

From: AttentionGitter@aol.com

It was this time last year, my exboyfriend (which I hope he chokes on his own dick when he sucks it; I know for a fact that he can and he has) tried to go for my best friend who I considered my sister. Well my x sent her emails, poems, and shit like that, saying how much he loved her. Well to make this short I found out. I blamed him. She refused to talk to me. Then after he sweet talked me, we got back together, I blamed her. We broke up for good (Thank You God!!) And now me and my friend talk. But now to the parts that make the worst fucking boyfriend ever. He was cheating on me for 9 and 1/2 months. He knocked some girl up, but she had a miscarriage. He ate out his own sister. He ate me out once and I'll tell ya it was the worst fucking thing ever. He can't even please a fucking girl when he thinks he can. He ate out a frog!!!! Fingered a goat. He's one sick fucking son of a bitch! He talks shit bout me even though I was the sweetest thing in the world to him. And he wants to get back with me after he broke up with me!!!! He talks shit about me to my boyfriend, his friends/mine, and my best friend (his cousin). He ruined my fucking life!!!!! And I hope he gets hit by a bus!!!! Oh and by the way....love the site...gives me a lot of great ideas, Jason has no clue what he's missing now!

~*~})l({~*~ Tracy ~*~})l({~*~

From: Trevor Tosello [trevortosello@hotmail.com]

Ok, so my girlfriend bought me a day of snowboarding. Cool. Hell, the little darling even bought me knee pads to help lessen the blow of my new adventure. Excellent. So we went today. All was well. I had my 1 hour lesson (which was shit) and then took to the big hills for some crash course snowboarding lessons of my own.

The chairlift is a very awkward thing to get used to for a newbie snowboarder like myself. You see, getting on is easy breazy, it's getting off that is tricky. With the board locked onto your left foot you must propel yourself off the chair and slap the free foot down on the board and glide to safety...and out of harms way.

On my third round of action, I prepared myself for the chairlift dismount as we neared the exit point. As I pushed myself out of the chair I got a little fucked up and took a spill about 20 feet off the lift. This part is ok. It's normal. Here is where it gets grim...

As I lay there on my side, slightly dazed, it was then that I experienced something completely new. My girlfriend, who was right behind me, did not have enough time to avoid me. She was forced to slide into me thus sending her board (a nice one too) into the crack of my ass at a fairly decent speed. Oh ya, it hurt like hell.

I did manage to recover though and start boarding again. However, on the way down the hill I took a nasty spill and landed hard on my now broken ass. Fuck me.

Again, I was able to pull together the pieces of my tattered body and make it to the bottom of the hill. It wasn't until we were on our way back up again, on the lift, that I felt compelled to tell my girlfriend that I thought my ass was bleeding.

Being an inquisitive science geek, she demanded full access to my ass in order to conduct a full inspection. After a bout of whimpering and resistance I finally agreed to let her see it once we got to the bottom of the hill.

Upon our arrival at the base, my girlfriend promptly whisked me off, out of the public eye, and spun me around. Her initial findings almost made me pass out. She informed me that blood had seeped through my underwear and was now showing through my long johns. Oh good Christ in heaven.

What transpired next will shock you and effect your perception of me forever. Excellent.

As it turned out, my girlfriend was having her monthly visit with TOM and conveniently had a feminine product (eh hem) at her disposal. Jokingly she offered it to me to help console my now bleeding ass. After a few laughs it was time to cut the shit.

"Hand it over", I said.

Without delay she gently unpackaged the super absorbent object and handed it to me. Reaching back, with great care, I placed this foreign object between my ass cheeks and then sat down beside my girlfriend who was now in complete hysterics. It was sweet relief so I didn't mind the laughing at all. In fact, I too joined in.

After a few moments I was instructed to remove the object for inspection. Not being completely familiar with how these things work I readily complied. The once virgin white swab was now stained with a pale reddish substance. The obvious byproduct of blood and ass sweat. Mother of God.

From: TOMSIDG@aol.com

This isn't really my worst thing ever its my best mate's, but it does involve me so I though I might aswell e-mail it to you anyway. My friend was staying over one night when we were both about 13. The night consisted of watching crappy horror movies and pizza, much like any other night when he stayed over, well until I needed to fart. Being 13 we still thought farting was really hilarious so I told him to close his eyes as I bent over pulled my pants down and farted. Unfortunately I pushed too and hard, er, followed through just as his eyes opened to be greeted by a nice lump of shit hitting him square on the face! Thank fuck he saw the funny side as he started to laugh, then scream, then laugh. If you look around stile's archives I'm sure you'll be able to find a picture of something similar if you really want to see what it looked like but I doubt the man in the picture will share the same look in his eyes as my friend did as my arsehole expanded and I shat on his face.

TOM

From: Neil [iluvjoegrise@hotmail.com]

whats up. wanna hear my worst thing?

it happened a few years ago, when my family had a huge party for my grandmother's 90th birthday. everyone in the family came, even those who lived out in cally and in florida (i live in ct). our house was packed with family members, and because i am anti-social (partially because of you stile) i decided to spend most of the party in my room. anyhow, one of my friends called me and i picked up the portable. however, my answering machine is set so that after three rings it takes a message, because my mother loves to screen. I picked up the phone on the third ring, which meant that my voice was projected through the answering machine so that everyone could hear. my friend asked me what i was doing, and i said "nothing, i have to spend my saturday night with my fat old grandmother. i hate her and i dont want to be here for it." or something like that, i dont quite remember. after i hung up, i went downstairs and went into my kitchen only to see half my family standing completely still with thier mouths open. my grandmother was crying, my brother was trying as hard as he could not to laugh, and my mom gave me the worst look i have ever gotten. the rest of the evening was rather ackward, as you can imagine. my grandmother didn't say a word for the rest of her life. she died six months later.

From: Sitting Bull

Before I get the ball rolling, I'd like to request that my e-mail address not be displayed with this message. And now for the good stuff...I started screwing a married woman about 2 years ago. I know, I'm an asshole, how the hell could I even contemplate such a horrible moral crime, yadda, yadda. But she's fine. And, she loves to fuck me. What more could I ask for? She doesn't love her husband anymore, that's his problem, not mine. So one hot day a couple of summers ago, we decided to go get some lunch and take it to a park and sit on a hill and eat. We finished our grub and then began necking and groping each other. I looked around to make sure that no one's prying eyes were trained on us and then I sat directly behind her on the blanket. I reached around to the front of her body and slid my hands into her bikini bottoms. It was really hot that day and we were pressed up against each other and as we grinded our bodies together, we got sweatier and more worked up, it was fucking dirty and I loved every second of it. The hill we were on overlooks one entire end of the park, but for some reason, we decided to move down to the bottom of the hill. We laid out the blanket at the bottom of the hill. I laid on my back and she sat on me and pinned my arms, which were outstretched on the blanket. To better illustrate the story, I need to point out here that the caution I exercised before inserting my fingers into her bikini bottoms is beyond her. For a married woman who's fucking around on her husband, she's very uncautious. She always was and despite everything that's happened (she's been caught with one other guy) she continues to be. We kissed for a couple of minutes and during a little break she looked up and across the park and said "Who is that over there? That looks like my husband." It was. She'd told him she was going to go sunbathing (in a park that is at the opposite end of the city from where she lives) and he decided that sounded suspicious and under the pretext of wanting to join her to catch a few rays, he came to check up on her. He saw us necking and came storming across the field. I sat there watching him get closer and tried to decide whether or not I should put my clothes back on and run as fast as I could and save myself from the beating of a lifetime. This fucker is big. When he was close enough to see that the woman he'd been watching was actually his wife, he threw up his arms in disgust and turned around and started to head back to his car. That was when I realized how fast my heart had been beating. His wife jumped up off the blanket and went to chase him down. I seized the opportunity to save my life. I began to get dressed immediately. The first thing I put on was my shoes. If he came back, I wanted to be ready to make tracks. He left the park and she came back to hang out some more, only without all the necking and finger-banging. Somehow, they were able to work things out. It's more than 2 years later and I'm still fucking her, but I almost helped to destroy their marriage and that was the worst thing ever to happen to me.

From: Joe Masso

I once lived in a nice suburb, had money, and a life. That is, until my mom and dad decided to give it all up for "GOD". My parents gave all our money, including my money for college to this shitty cult leader. Now we live in a travel trailer on a "compound" with 35 other fucked up people. My 14 year-old sister is pregnant with the "grand masters" baby and my mom thinks this is great: It's a fucking "ACT OF GOD". NO NO NO, a 40 year old sick bastard has brainwashed them.

It gets worse. I told them that I a gay, my dad beat the shit out of me. He then held me down and raped me, after this he said that "GOD" told him this would "cure" me from being gay. I wish that I could kill myself, but being I refuse to say that I am not gay, my parents have shipped me to the "church" reform building where I am under 24 hour a day surveillance. I can not even take a shit without one of these fucked up "GOD" freaks praying for my soul.

From: Albert Manson

Hey Stile ... my worst experience is kind of a daily thing. It all started when my father died in November. I made the mistake of inviting friends (husband, wife and one year old daughter and occasionally her 8 year old son) to live with my to: 1) help pay bills and 2) because they were being booted out of his brother's house.

Well I found out why they were being booted out. She's a fucking slob. She leaves food all over the house. She doesn't watch her own kid and would rather let the 8 year-old parent the child when he's over for her visitation days. She tries to pawn off child rearing duties on anyone who takes a fleeting interest in the one year-old. She's so lazy that the child got diaper rash so bad it was bleeding because she wouldn't change her diapers on a regular basis. All she does is sit on her ass on my couch, channel flipping and doing needle point. I got her a job and she went six days out of the month the job lasted. She leaves uneaten food in bowls in the sink (even though I have a disposer).

The other day I found used tampon under my bathroom sink because she was just too fucking lazy to throw it away. I don't have the heart to boot them out because her husband is a wonderful person. HE walks 6 miles to work, works 8 hours, walks the 6 miles back, come home and cleans up HER messes!!!!! If I find one more dirty dish under my cabinets I'm going to take my father's .357 and make this child motherless. She has this extremely irritating voice... like fingernails on a chalk board. She doesn't know the meaning of "lower your tone" or how to whisper or talk quietly while I'm trying to sleep. She mooches incessantly off her mother and any other person she can.

I have to hide any and all medicines I have for myself because she takes all my pain relievers because "she has a sore neck". Like I said... I can't in good conscious boot them out into the snow because her husband is so nice. It's too bad I can't boot just her out. So.. until lardass gets cracking and starts working... I'm stuck. Anyone want to send me a roll of duct tape?